Chapter 16: It Felt Like the Garden of Eden

A huge greenhouse came into my sight.

Everyone in class went picking flowers which would then be used in the next flower arrangement course.

“We do that by ourselves, huh?”

“Yes. If we pluck them ourselves, it will make us want to carefully arrange them; that’s what our teachers told us.”

Arisugawa-san said. I see, I think I’d feel the same. Guess I should give it some good thinking, huh?

“…I wonder if I can even do a flower arrangement…”

“If it’s Kimito-sama, then I’m sure. With my humble support, anything will be possible.”

“Yeah, I’m in your hands.”

“Yes. For many years to come.”

“Ha?”

“Eh?”

Arisugawa-san would recently daydream and say the weirdest things.

At those times, I’d always feel a gaze stinging my back and for certain reasons I was convinced that it came from Aika, who was currently walking right behind me.

We entered the greenhouse.

A girl was squatting in front of the flowerbed.

She had long hair, cut evenly. I was taken aback by her beauty at first.

Her gaze was fixated on the flowers, it felt cold and oozed an aloof presence.

An awe-inspiring, oldschool Yamato Nadeshiko—— that’s the feeling I got from her.

My classmates looked scared.

What’s wrong?

That moment the girl stood up and noticed me.

A calm yet nimble movement, like the that of a samurai. If she’d worn a sword, it’d fit her perfectly.

*dangle*

SHE’S ONE FASTENED ON TO HER WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIST?!

She was headed for the exit, in other words, our way.

The ojou-samas hurriedly backed off into a corner.

Not even deigning to look at them for a fleeting glance, her expression continued to stay cold. While her sword clattered on her waist, she oozed the of a someone who’s bound to do some sort of martial arts, and I couldn’t see her as anything else but a beat ’em up character or someone who’d cut down zombies.

Making her way through the scared gazes in a way that sure made her look superior, she soon passed by me.

I was just thinking that I had to make way—— from behind a, *BZZZ*, bug came flying.

As she passed me, she turned her head into my direction.

Instantly…

“KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA————————!”

She slashed with all her strength.

The edge of the blade brushed against the tip of my nose.

“Bug! BUUUUUUG——————————!”

“UWAAAA—?!”

Her sword was totally aimed at me.

I fell on my backside and, *STAB*, she thrusted the blade right into the ground in front of my crotch.

“HIIIIIIIIII————?!”

“…Ha… Haa…”

The girl was shaking all over while teary eyed.

“…………That was scary…………”

Huh?

Even at this distance, I barely heard it. It was way too unexpected.

And right thereafter, she got back to her senses just as fast.

In the blink of an eye her face turned red.

Taking glances around her, she seemed to be embarrassed and bit her lip.

‘Now I’ve done it’ was clearly written all over her face.

“…To think she would call the commoner ‘bug’ and try to cut him down…”

“Karen-sama is a terrifying person after all…”

Huh? No, you’ve got it wrong. She was simply scared by a——

“T-That’s right!”

*raise*, she pointed her sword at me.

“You damn insect! How about I exterminate you right now?!”

“You’re completely going along with it!”

“You spirogyra!”

“Spirogyra aren’t bugs. you know?!”

“…?! S-Silence! Karen Sword Style——”

She raised her sword overhead.

“[RESOLUTION]!”

*SLASH*! A straight-lined shockwave flew across the ground, scattering the flowers in the process.

“EHHHHHHHHH———?!”

I threw myself out of its way.

“What’s with that special move?! Are you some beat ’em up character for real?!”

The ojou-sama’s screamed out.

“Who said you could evade it?!”

“Don’t be absurd!”

“[RESOLUTION]!”

“UWAAAAAAA?!”

“Tsk, this nimble Spiro— B-Bug!”

“You were trying to say spirogyra again right now, weren’t you?!”

“I was not! ———If that’s how it’s going to be, then how about this! Karen Sword Style… [PROFUSION]!”

A tornado appeared.

Karen swung her sword around with fearsome speed and an inescapable storm appeared in all directions around her.

“…”

However, the range of that couldn’t have been more than about two meters from where she was, so she just kept spinning there.

For me, being on the edge of it, it felt like a breeze of an electric fan set at medium.

Shortly after, she stopped.

“…………Haa………… Haa………… Haa.”

She had worn herself out completely.

…And her face was like a child’s who knew they had done something dumb.

The surrounding young ladies were watching intently in puzzlement too.

And then——

Their school uniforms were being ripped into small pieces and scattered to the ground like flower petals.

They were lined up in their simple yet elegant underwear.

“””””KYAAAAAA————————!”””””

They crouched down all at once.

“DON’T LOOK, IDIOT COMMONER!”

Aika looked as if her whole body had been boiled.

“Aah, again! Kimito-sama has seen me again in this shameful state—”

Maybe it was just in my head, but Arisugawa-san appeared a bit pleased even.

Did her technique cause this just now…?

“Y-You lowlife! How dare you commit such a shameless act!”

“THAT WAS YOU!”

After I’ve retorted…

*flapflapflap*…

…Huh? Isn’t it getting cold in here?

When I checked—— I was standing there looking like a bit of a maniac—only in my trunks and sneakers.

“””””KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA——————?!”””””

A far more deafening shriek than before.

Quite a number of the young ladies fainted.

But there were also those who covered their eyes with their hands and peeked through the crack between their fingers.

“Ah…… Ah………”

Karen’s katana was rattling in her both hands. Tears welling up in both of her eyes——

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO———————!”

She came running at me. It felt like a crying brat that comes at you just to repeatedly ‘punch’ you with his fists.

But she had a sword.

“…! WAI——”

*SLASH*——! The shockwave almost hit me.

“HIIIIII—?!”

“A MAN! A FILTHY MAN!”

Every time she recklessly swung her sword around, she scattered flowers.

I was driven into a corner.

“Wait! I’ll die! I’ll die for real!”

“FINISHING BLOW—!”

She raised her sword above her head.

I lost it and—just leapt in front.

We collided. I didn’t know what happened. My head had gone pure white.

“…”

When I came to, I realized—I was straddling over Karen.

I was straddling right above her chest. Right in front of my trunks was the tranced face of Karen.

Huh? This… is a bad position, isn’t it?

“…Mm…”

Karen’s face grimaced, and she seemed to be about to open her eyes.

And then…

My trunks, *rip*, fell off too.

Karen opened her eyes.

…The abundant amount of flower petals that were soaring in the air came raining down spinning like windmills.

And they fell down onto me, making me look like I had just been born.

How should I say… It felt like the Garden of Eden.

It was like some extremely avant-garde flower arrangement.

“〇*#★=$%&! (๑╹ω╹๑) ” Q#{’ >/’ ~、 ()#☆※”

Her pupils widened quickly and her iris lost its light.

She had passed out.

 

Behind the school building, a Japanese sword was pointed at me.

“I’ve got something to ask the likes of you.”

“…Eh?”

I had been prepared to be cut down swiftly, but this kind of outcome took me by surprise.

Actually… Wait, she’s glaring at me… She probably just wants me to say my last words are.

Since I had shown her my Eden, I didn’t think she’d let me off the hook.

“You—— among the commoners, how strong are you?”

“Ha…?”

“Answer!”

She had a sharp glint in her eyes.

“Well… I think I’m rather weak…”

“…What… did you…”

Karen gulped.

“THAT CAN’T BE—!”

The edge touched the back of my neck.

“HIII—?!”

“Your last move, the one that beat me, it was clearly martial arts!”

“Haa?! I didn’t do anything, I don’t even know martial arts!”

“Y-You’re feigning ignorance?!”

“It was all by chance! Like when you outdo your own strength in the eye of death!”

“—————…”

Karen opened her eyes wide and slowly lowered her sword. She bent slightly forward.

“……Well then, so it’s like this? You’re an amateur with no knowledge of martial arts whatsoever?”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re the weakest among the commoners.”

“No… I wouldn’t go that far…”

“And I lost to such a guy…!”

She clenched her fists, seemingly frustrated.

“The [Karen Sword Style] that I’ve thought out in self study lost to the weakest among commoners!”

“That was self study?! Isn’t that quite incredible?!”

“As—— AS IF I COULD ACCEPT THIS!”

*DSHING*—! She prepared her sword.

“Revenge! I’ll cut you down on the spot and recover my honor!”

“EEEH—?! WAIT A SE—”

“DIE—!”

*RAISE*, she held her sword above her head—— and…

*scatterscatterscatter*…

Karen’s uniform scattered.

A cute bra and panties with a bunny print. For some reason, she had written her name, ‘Karen’, in big, childish letters on them.

“…………”

Still with the sword raised above her head, Karen was in shock.

“…I didn’t even see that commoner’s attack come…”

——Eh?

“No, that was probably your own technique earli————”

*RATTLE*…

The blade slipped out of Karen’s hands.

“………Complete defeat………”

Dejected, she fell to her knees.

“He’s the weakest? Dreadful… what dreadful people those commoners are…!”

“I didn’t do a thing! You did that all yourself!”

“I, myself…?”

“Yeah!”

“…I see…”

“So you finally get it…”

“You mean that the essence of martial arts is to make the opponent beat themselves without even raising one’s hand against them? ——It’s no use, our levels are way apart—!”

“Nonono?!”

“…I understand.”

While she teared up, she positioned herself in perfect seiza.

“I shall acknowledge the likes of you, who has bested me, as my master.”

“Are you some kinda summoning beast?!”

“However, you shall remember this! The second the likes of you grow weaker than me, I will take your life!”

“On top of that, the type who gnaws at their master?! Are you a nether dragon[1] or something?!”

“Until that point, you can use me in however way it pleases you…!”

Her tears fell while still in her bunny underwear.

Thereafter, even though I tried to solve the misunderstanding a dozen times, it only grew worse in the weirdest ways.

 

The next day the rumor spread that I had subdued Karen and turned her into my manservant with brute force alone. And of course talk like ‘Commoners are amazing’, ‘He sure is a brute, but it mysteriously makes my chest tighten’ etc. arose.

 

Translator notes and references

[1]Either another Final Fantasy or Yu-Gi-Oh! reference, or something else entirely. I don’t play either, so tough luck.