I came across a graffiti scene.
While leisurely exploring the sprawling school grounds, I discovered an ojou-sama who was scribbling on a white marble statue with a permanent marker.
There’s no way someone from this school is… I was shocked, but this girl seemed to be in one of the lower grades in elementary school. Well, with that it’s not impossible, I guess?
The pigmentation of both her hair and skin was pale, it looked as if she was transparent.
Silky, short hair. A seemingly calm profile. A beauty like thin ice.
The girl continued with her scribble, not noticing me.
It’s probably better if I give her a warning…
I somewhat gathered my courage and drew closer.
She was writing mathematical formulas.
Code and algebra I had never seen before. They were formulas of a level I couldn’t even understand in the slightest. Yet with the vigor of an animal on the run, she continued the writing furiously.
The horse that was part of the statue looked like Odin from Final Fantasy and it had become the space for the graffiti.
I was dumbfounded, and before my eyes the space the horse provided was just about to run out, so the girl got on all fours. Her skirt got turned up. Stretching out from her grey panties I could see her thin and childish thighs.
She had assumed a posture that made her butt stick out, and like this she continued to scribble onto the flagstone with her permanent marker. Before long, the ink couldn’t keep up anymore.
And yet she didn’t stop. She continued writing vigorously, it was clear as day that the driving force of her thoughts hadn’t stopped. It appeared that she could still clearly see the characters before her eyes.
But then she suddenly stopped.
She stood up, stared at the non-existent characters on the flagstone, and took her coat off.
Is she hot maybe? I thought, and after continuing to observe,
*strip*, she took off her blouse and got naked from the waist up.
Next she removed the fastener of her skirt and started to…
“HOLD ON! HOLD! ON!”
Without thinking I ran over to her. Your thighs are going to show, you know?!
“What the heck are you doing?! Come on, put it back on!”
I picked up the blouse and put it on her shoulders.
But the girl continued glaring at the ‘transparent’ formula—and dropped her skirt.
“Why’d you take that off now?!”
At that time he could hear the voices of a couple of chattering young ladies approaching from the other side of the building.
“The poem collection that I have read consists of mainly the likes of Heinrich Heine, Rainer Maria Rilke, and Paul Verlaine.”
“Oh my, you’re quite the avid reader, aren’t you?”
I quickly reviewed the situation I was in.
Together with an unclothed elementary school girl, me vigorously holding the skirt she had taken off.
I had returned to my room.
I laid the almost naked elementary school girl down on the carpet.
With her crumpled blouse and skirt only lying on her body, it was very unladylike.
Her childish eyes were staring up at the ceiling, seemingly nowhere in particular. With an expression that was void of any emotion, she looked like a doll that had lost its soul.
I fixed my disheveled clothing while I wheezed violently after this intense, involuntary exercise.
I looked down at the motionless kid who wasn’t even so much as twitching.
“Hurry. Clothes. Put them on.”
“Um… you’ll catch a cold, you know?”
Having freaked out with a ‘Crap!’, I had picked up the girl and did an emergency retreat. As the result, I was right back where I started… I had returned to my room with her; with her like this.
What should I do?
Although she had went into object mode for now, this situation made me look a wee bit like the culprit, right?
And then, the girl suddenly jumped up.
With the permanent marker in her hand she dashed for the wall. She was trying to write something again—but then she stopped in her tracks.
After full three seconds…
She muttered with an unexpectedly mature voice.
Just letting her hand that had been stretched out drop, she was still a bit absent minded.
She turned her head and stared at me intently.
And then she looked down at her body. Seemingly, she just noticed that she was only wearing her panties right now.
Once again, she looked at me with that expressionless gaze of hers, and…
“I DID NOT!”
I didn’t understand her reasoning.
“You took off your clothes, right?!”
“Why would I have deemed it necessary to take off my clothes?”
“AS IF I’D KNOW!”
What the heck? Is it possible that she doesn’t remember…?
The girl looked down at her bare chest. Next she looked at the crumpled up blouse besides her, and then…
Her attitude suggested a ‘oh well’ and she moved on to looking out the window.
“THAT AIN’T RIGHT!”
I retorted before I knew it.
“That’s enough, put on your clothes!”
I don’t know how many times I’ve seen this child naked, but it’s an abnormal amount for sure!
“I am unable to abide.”
“I don’t know how to put on clothes.”
She plainly said.
Eh? Well, certainly, it’s usually maids that put the clothes on, so it might be, but still…
“If you just try, then you might manage, right?”
“I lack the necessary experience.”
“But you were able to take them off earlier.”
“I’ve never done anything like that.”
What’s up with her? I scratched my head in desperation. And then——
*achoo*, she sneezed.
I sighed and grabbed her blouse. Can’t be helped, huh?
“Come on, raise your right hand.”
Circling her from behind, I put her arms through the sleeves.
She was obedient… Or rather, she was completely passive. It was a strange feeling, kind of like changing a doll.
“The buttons are… impossible from here, huh?”
Returning to her front, I fastened the button. She was opposite me, so it was an incredibly difficult thing to do.
I felt her intent gaze.
“I am Shiodome Haqua.”
“I’m Kagurazaka Kimito. You saw me at that Commoner Explanatory Meeting the other day, remember?”
“I’ve been in the lab since the day before yesterday.”
*GRUMBLE*! Haqua’s stomach rumbled loudly.
“That sound is a warning that my blood sugar level has fallen.”
They say an army can’t fight on an empty stomach.
…Can’t be helped, huh? I stood up.
I placed the plate on top of the desk.
It was bag ramen.
Under the pretense ‘It’s for the sake of preserving the commoner-ness’, I had been allowed daily necessities supplies from the outside. I got my hands on them them by requesting something I want and eventually receive it once Kujou-san gave her approval.
Today things like instant ramen had arrived.
“What is this?”
“It’s commoner food.”
However, it was no ordinary ramen.
It was an original recipe of mine—‘Cool Chili Oil Ramen’.
After the noodles have been cooked, I turn the heat off and mix in the powder soup.
Then I throw boiled bean sprouts and thin slices of seasoned chicken in that I cook on the stove in the meantime. Thereafter, I complete it all by putting chili oil on top. Green onions are up to preference. I recommend salt. If it’s miso then use minced meat.
“It’s some cooking that I thought up. C’mon, try it.”
After alternating looking at me and the food a bunch of times, Haqua picked up the chopsticks.
“Ah, you should try pushing the bean sprouts that are on top down and mix them with the noodles… Well, whatever.”
…*slurp*, *slurp*. *chomp*, *chomp*.
When someone was eating an original recipe of mine, it made me all excited for some reason.
“…How was it?”
“Can be eaten.”
While saying that in bits and pieces, she continued eating. With her expressionless face, I couldn’t tell whether she liked it or not.
But nonetheless, she finished it all.
Getting the after meal oolong tea, I moved the plate out of the way.
Seemingly not planning to wipe her mouth, I decided to wipe it for her with a ‘Can’t be helped’.
Haqua just sat there motionlessly while I did it. It kind of felt like playing with dolls.
Upon looking out the window, I noticed that the color of the sky was changing.
“It’s about time you returned to your dormitory, isn’t it? I’ll take you there… Hey, don’t fall asleep!”
Haqua had lied down. When I tried to get her up, her arm dangled idly.
“If you fall asleep here, it’d trouble me, you know?! C’mon, get— OW?!”
Her head suddenly rose and hit my chin.
“Don’t just stand up all of a sudden!”
Completely disregarding me, Haqua rushed over to the wall, took a permanent out of her pocket, and started writing an equation——
I quickly held her down.
She was thrashing around violently. I continued holding her down, grabbed a piece of paper with my other hand, and brought it towards her.
“Here, write on this.”
Just as I placed it before her eyes—she started writing with an incredible force.
The paper was filled up in the blink of an eye, and the tip of the pen continued on like that on to the carpet—
*swoosh*! I barely managed to get another piece of paper in.
It continued on like that. The poker-faced Haqua wrote formulas and figures and I added on the paper.
With this, I understood. This child was a so-called ‘child prodigy’, wasn’t she?
*swoosh*… Something fell on top of my head.
I took the object in my hands and looked at it—it were panties.
While Haqua was writing formulas with furious velocity, she was already taking off her skirt with the other hand.
“Why are you stripping?!”
I promptly grabbed her skirt. And then——
*snap*… The buttons of her blouse got undone.
“WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SO FAST?!”
I frantically tried to stop Haqua, who seemed to be releasing her Bankai.
As I was hanging over the back of this half naked elementary school girl, pinning her down——
”I’m here, commoner! Well now, what club activities should we do today…”
Aika hardened up like a rock.
“I-It’s not like that!”
With a feeling of ‘Hold on!’, I placed both my hands on the ground.
“It’s a misunderstanding! It’s definitely not what you’re thinking!”
However, Aika was far from calm and looked at my hands that I had placed on the ground. She started to shake violently.
When I checked what she was looking at——
I was tightly grasping Haqua’s panties.
I was violently beaten up.
Haqua was a genius after all.
She had already been granted numerous patents in engineering and chemistry at the age of 14 and had furthermore acquired awards for her mathematical papers.
Haqua was a celebrity within the school. The academy had built a laboratory just for her sake.
“That’s it? That’s the lab?”
Haqua replied. Personally, her middle schooler appearance surprised me the most.
It was a square-shaped building quite close, surrounded by trees in a systematical manner. The lab felt quite different from your usual business building, more like something you’d only find in Silicon Valley.
So they built that just for Haqua…
“You’re quite amazing, huh…?”
“People tell me that often.”
She wasn’t getting carried away or anything, it really just felt like she was stating the mere truth.
“That dorm over there’s yours?”
I was in the middle of escorting Haqua to her room.
“Let’s go then.”
She asked and fixated her gaze on me.
“Yeah, I’ll get you there.”
Then she slowly shifted her gaze up front again.
“Off we go then.”
As I turned for the road, Haqua kept a very close distance.
We arrived in front of her room and I explained everything to Haqua’s maid.
Her maid—she had a digi cam in her hand—was utterly shocked and confused at first, but soon recovered her professional appearance and bowed with a ‘So something like this happened? Thank you very much.’.
“Is that a digi cam?”
I asked after noticing it.
“Yes. It’s for recording what Haqua-sama writes on walls. Thereafter, I’m obliged to clean them.”
“I see… sounds like trouble.”
“Not at all.”
She expressed with a professional smile.
“Ah, right. She ate already.”
I reported just in case. Then——
The maid appeared as if thunderstruck.
“Is something wrong?”
“…! N-No… She ate? Haqua-sama did?”
“Ehm… is that bad?”
“Nono—! …By the way, what did she eat…?”
“…? Ramen. Instant ramen. Just something I made.”
The maid was in a daze.
“…Is it bad after all?”
“——T-That’s not true. Ah, that’s—— Haqua-sama’s in your debt. Thank you.”
She bowed to me with a feeling which suggested that she was barely keeping up appearances.
I’d gotten curious, but it’d also be rude to pry, so I took my leave.
I said briefly and turned my back.
Something tucked my sleeve.
When I turned around… it was Haqua’s tiny hands.
Thereupon, she fixated her gaze on me with an expressionlessness as untainted as white snow.
*SHOCKED*—! The maid backed off and hit the back of her head at the door.
“Are you alright?”
She said, trembling terribly.
And I asked Haqua,
Haqua blinked in puzzlement. While her profoundly limpid eyes reflected me, she sighed,
“…I don’t know.”
*SHOCKEDOFFTHECHARTS*—! The maid hit her head again.
“I’m fine! I’m fine! Please continue!”
I placed my hand on Haqua’s head.
I knew that she was a second-year in middle school, but she had more of a younger cousin feeling to me.
“I’ll come around again,” I smiled, “Okay?”
With that… her grip on my uniform loosened and she finally let go.
I caressed her head. While Haqua didn’t let her eyes off of me, she muttered,
“That Haqua-sama did?!”
There was a big commotion in the maid staff room.
“I was reaaaaaaally surprised!”
Haqua’s personal maid told her colleagues fervently.
“That Haqua-sama! That Haqua-sama who neglects other people, that Haqua-sama who doesn’t care about her panties, that Haqua-sama who has absolutely no interest in anything but studies! She grabbed his sleeve and said ‘…Stay’——!”
While she reported the happenings with some weird imitation of Haqua in between, her colleagues were astonished.
“Haqua-sama did?! The Haqua-sama who doesn’t keep her panties on?!”
“That Haqua-sama who keeps stripping her panties with almost frightening skill whenever she starts to concentrate?! The Haqua-sama who can’t do anything ordinary?!”
“That’s really curious.”
Everyone nodded with a ‘yeah, yeah’ in consent. Most of the maids present had experience in handling Haqua. It was a big hassle to look after this genius girl who was unusual in various ways, so the general care procedure had turned into a short term baton passing.
“She strips anywhere, right?”
“Nonono, that’s not the point right now, okay?!”
Haqua’s current maid-in-charge got them back on track.
“…True, huh? For her to be obsessed over something that isn’t related to studies… And even another person to boot, it’s astonishing.”
“You’re not making this up?”
“I’m not! Plus, it doesn’t end here!”
*GRAB*—! She prepared a spoon.
“On top of that—— SHE ATE NOTHING SPECIFIC!”
The maids went out of their minds.
“Haqua-sama only eats specific things for each day of the week and yet…”
“Today’s wednesday, so it’s hotate gratin day? Maybe it was hotate gratin by chance…”
“It was—— some commoner ramen!”
The maids gasped.
“Commoner ramen? The food which gets prepared with just boiling water?”
They had been raised ‘outside’ once, but among the women were many who, when seen from a ‘normal’ point of view, had perfect celebrity-like origins and hence little common ground with the masses. They were, to a bigger or lesser degree, curious when it came to commoners and their lifestyle.
“Has such an exception ever…?”
“Not in the least! Absolutely not!”
What could it mean…? The maids were at a loss for a little while.
“…She’s pleased with commoner ramen?”
“I wonder… Ah—— She added that he should stay, yes? Wasn’t this because of the commoner too? Maybe she’s getting interested as you’d expect? Haqua-sama’s a local ojou-sama too.”
“I see! So it’s that!”
“I get it, so it’s the commoner, isn’t it…?”
“It’s the commoner after all, right?”
They went ‘yeah, yeah, yeah’ in unison.
At that moment, a maid who had a somewhat similar way of thinking as commoners solely said,
“…She… couldn’t have fallen in love, could she?”
After a brief moment of silence equalling a small stone falling into a calm water surface.
“But Haqua-sama’s a girl too, and despite appearances, she’s 14, and…”
Everyone’s gazes wandered naturally to the maid-in-charge. Their faces seemed to ask ‘What do you think about the matter?’.
Like a great mystery detective, the maid in charge placed her fingers on her chin and gave it a thought………… Then her expression omitted a ‘not impossible’.
The maids’ faces were brimming with aspiration
They were young women after all. In a workplace with nothing but girls. That thing’s totally—— Things are definitely more interesting that way.
“We can’t… let our eyes off of this from now on, right?”
All of the maids’ faces showed full consensus.
Translator notes and references